I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
