So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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