I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize