I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
