My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
