so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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