it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize