It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
