ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My ass is underappreciated
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
