either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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