Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
