im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize