So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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