i already hear my dad disowning me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
