Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
