Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Randomize
