You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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