ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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