when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
