So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
