ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
