shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
