It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize