Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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