let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
