wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize