Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i've created a new STD.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize