We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she peed on how many people?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
