so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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