so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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