Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize