): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
