Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
