I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
