he wants to bone in the snuggie
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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