if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
