what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
