I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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