Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
we should paint friendship bongs
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
