I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
