Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
