C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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