But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
