This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
