and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
