we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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