How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
