i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
someone owes me an orgasm
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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