Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You've changed since you got that strap on
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
