Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize