party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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