I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
