saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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