you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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