Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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