who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
