Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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