I'm so fucking centered right now
I got chris browned last night
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
