Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
