coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
