I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
