she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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