the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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