yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize