i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
