Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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