hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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